July 6, 2009

So I…

So I’ve been thinking. For the past few years, all I have been doing is thinking of ways to boost my career options. Yes, career options. Although I do not Have a career, nor gone to an actual University yet- worrying about the amount of money I need to make each month, worrying about the amount of money I will need to make each year to survive, and live comfortably, and be completely independent has been on my mind for years. It urkes me to feel dependent still because I need to in order to make that next step out into the world. However, I work really hard, and have been to keep myself comfortable and afloat. Not just afloat, but comfortable. That’s why I work so much. I work a lot so that I can afford the things I need, and what I want.

I didn’t just go laze around for four years, I got a nursing assistant certificate to increase my job options and boost my opportunity for a career, as well as get a job working with infants in a community-based outreach program. I’ve done volunteering and take any opportunity I can get. Perhaps I was not ready to just go to school then jump out into the career world, I wanted to slowly and surely build my options. I have a world of experience. Now it’s me time. Time to learn heavily, time to pick up an instrument. So maybe I’ll hold off a tiny bit on the worries…. but I do know what it means to struggle, I know what it means to survive because I’ve been doing that.

I let a little resentment build up in me because I’m not sure that even I know how I hard I work for my life. Wow. This was a bitter, all-bad, resentful, over-done write and yet I’m still posting it.

I have a world of experience behind me and I’m ready to take more on and apply what I’ve learned for the better of the world and myself! Now teach me something new.

Show me the big guns. Wait, I mean… show me how to use them, I feel like I’ve seen them. Show me how to use them so I’ll hit the target. I can sure as hell throw a bullet and a spark now give me a quick lesson in the art of target.