December 2009
4 posts
“Flexibility and openness to new things are key, and I now look upon each and...”
– Scott Addison exchanged New York for London when he decided to study for an MBA. His first two weeks at school have been a shock to the system. (via wonderble)
premier dating site →
www.reelspark.com
www.reelspark.com
——- EVERYONE CHECK THIS OUT. A lot like e-harmony, but better…. in my opinion…. can use video. Sweeet.
Persephone
Persephone must reclaim her power and her responsibility, She must give up Her naivety in order to become the Queen of the Underworld. She has to take responsibility for eating the pomegranate seeds.
It is not good enough for Persephone to remain innocent and ignorant of her errors, or to expect to be rescued repeatedly by others. If She holds onto this attitude, She remains the Maiden and...
November 2009
2 posts
I am-
I am a woman. A woman, a female Rough, tough, and smooth. I am sweet as I sing Lullaby’s I will haunt you with mystery, I will shoot you with a smile To warm you in the cold of eve. I am a captain, A captive of nudity I dance with my hips, I kiss with the curve in them As I layden soft lips to the shore Of the love I choose. I am a beach. I lay with legs and arms stretched I...
Cardboard and Oceans
I wrote these maybe about 2 years ago. But I edited Cardboard Scent because I wanted to be more visual to describe the moment better… I like it better this way; I can totally remember how I felt at least from reading my previous poem. The last one is just one I liked writing; it’s a bittersweet, sappy love poem. Again, this was written about 2 years ago. I didn’t edit that one now though.
...
October 2009
2 posts
wishin' on a raindrop
Well, a part of me wants to be outside in the rain and the wet… naked and running.
My eyes are heavy and i think I’ll fall asleep… but I could be ina dream. But I know no one as of yet, and I could just walk down stairs… but I feel………..
Okay. I’ll walk out on the balcony and try to see if I can see it.
free will
which is why the will is so complicated, whence it has been lost or u trodden, u have to search for it… and life is so short. but that is what life is about. i put my will to things that damaged me, and now here i am— stronger, but not realizing it, and having a hard time making my life what i want it to be… all so that i could relaize my character and shape things how they...
September 2009
3 posts
25 Things
1. I enjoy being by myself, but only if I have reassurance that someone would be by my side if I asked them to.
2. I have major social anxiety, and I am not open about it because I don’t like to be judged.
3. I secretly get depressed a lot more than I let off to myself and others, and I have a feeling I know why but it’s never easy.
4. I can’t survive very long without a...
Thoughts on a thursday morning, but thursday has...
I feel so tired of my fast paced, ever drastically changing life.
I change it up, and I fret everytime. It is so hard for me to decide, and when I finally do, I doubt my decisions. There is usually something that makes me curious if I’ve made the right choice.
I felt like I was finding my niche in down town san jose…
the lifestyle, the weather, the people, my friends, my...
Tired.
Well, I’m tired.
But more importantly. I am annoyed at myself for not following through with much. It makes sense why I’d like to be an OT, I have done many things to be creative, to find happiness… and I like to help others find theirs. I find that not everyone I care about it, wants to hear it though. I think that I need to worry less about their decisions and let them be who...
August 2009
4 posts
sunday
well, i’ve had insomnia for 2 days which is nice. and so i at last got someone to cover my shift at the last minute which means i missed the bean celebration, but i might have been too tired for that anyways—- but I did last minute go to a little potluck up in Santa Cruz with my Scots Valley family and my parents and all their friends.
Cute and fun it was. I wouldn’t mind living...
Needs
I need to not coupe myself up when I’m low, anxious or discerned by something out of my control. I need to not let change bring me down or lift me past how high I can breathe.
I know what I need to do. I need to go grocery shopping, I need to listen to music and sing a long. When I can’t be at home, I need to call someone- I need to make jewelry; bake cookies; buy fruit- make a fruit...
GRR!!
I’ve waited too long to be a strong woman. I’ve waited too long to hold my own head up high. Without holding up some male’s head who ultimately gives me nada but an orgasm and a heartache.
I feel hopeless. Someone take my hand and show me the way. No. I can’t have that either, obviously. But I’m used to strange luck, and sighing to the earth when my poetry is...
“There must be quite a few things a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of...”
– Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
starsnatcher | suzywire | daieny
(via silentsigh57) (via hellomehelloyou)
July 2009
11 posts
Ravioli's
I semi-passed at making my own ravioli’s from scratch. One is the size of my fist, filled with yams and squash sprinkled with brown sugar and garlic. Weird? Yummy. But the dough is very thick, and they essentially look and taste like pizza pockets with a really thick, rich coating.
I failed at presentation. Curplunk!! On the plate.
Sun Rises
The California sun at 6:15 in the morning, is golden and penetrating. The England sun at the same time in the morning reflects a subtle vibrance… Both are just as amazing.
baby blue
baby blue i have something for you,
I have all the love in the world
to give to you
My next goal...
So, my next goal is to learn the art of belly dancing and perform at a restaurant. Depending what pace I work at, it may take months, or years even. I have other goals that come first. This is an intermediate or bystanding goal, if you may.
So I...
So I’ve been thinking. For the past few years, all I have been doing is thinking of ways to boost my career options. Yes, career options. Although I do not Have a career, nor gone to an actual University yet- worrying about the amount of money I need to make each month, worrying about the amount of money I will need to make each year to survive, and live comfortably, and be completely...
Hi Ho
[*bongo drums*]
Goodbye to the house I grew up in
The shutters are browned
And the doors painted green
The white picket fence has fallen down…
The cat won’t leave
He’s fallen asleep
Under that old, olive tree
Hi Ho, hi ho… hi ho, hi ho
Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho,
Where oh where did the time go?
The pool is cool
And the weather is bright
The flowers are pretty
...
July Is My Month For Reminicing
I am dreaming of a warm July afternoon, walking up to the lot through the green bushes on the windy dirt path layden with crumpeled, fallen leaves. Blackberry bushes and a tall gate. Walking through the patches of gardens…. A garbage can lid cooking paella above a large make shift fire hole, surrounded with stones to keep the sparks in. Kids running in every direction, Natalie was with her...
June 2009
12 posts
.....
I just cooked an amazingly hearty and delicious dinner, of sateed (or however you spell it) tofu, yellow squash, and broccoli… with whole wheat pasta and a cheesy tomato sauce (that part was pre-made in the grocery store). But it is soooo yummy, and I feel very nourished.
And for dessert…. vanilla yogurt with a perhaps… a black plum.
:o) Feels good.
Oh and dip in the pool....
The Whoa's... and Woot's!
Indecision….. has left me feeling that perhaps I am not making the right choice about where to go to college. But it is important, truly important to review all of my options before making a firm choice. The only difficulty I have had with this one is the amount of confidence I put into one plan before realizing that, oh, there was a third plan that I did not consider enough because it did...
Tonight's Feelin'
Drum.
Awake.
Boom. Bam.
Quiet.
Quiet, tremble, alive, whine— all in my mind.
Beautrid, Putiful. Pretty, and sweet.
Smelly, ugly. Old man’s feet.
Dreams, alone. Perfect. Control. Lack of anything to even do with control.
Contradiction. Dick. Suck. Wonder….
Ready. Unstable. Sensitivity crawls.
Not quite there at the starting line.
Stability in a cone. Ice cream for my...
my life.
I’ve decided to follow my dream, and in a practical manner. Practicality it a part of me. And living experiences to the fullest is a growing must in me. A dream that holds so much; effort, strife (with rewards), redemption, love for myself, believing.
I’m going to UCSC. I will have to be strong, bright, and imaginative. i can do it. I believe!
call it learning disorder,
...
Fear, the Greatest
Tis my dream, a long awaited dream
To be lived—
My choices, I fear may bring solomn streets
Dead end creeks~ splish splash into grave stones.
Practicality calls, with a booming voice—
Either way is practical my love.
When you’re heart is involved.
Is this true?
No one look now— I have no feet on.
My greatest fear still be
Not putting my mind to good use.
Bare...
Assistance Needed
I need massive assistance in writing professional cover letters. I thought I was good at it, but that’s because I have always received help from someone and have not been afraid to ask! I am having a hard time with writing in a simplistic, short and simple, confident way that really explains it all without overdoing it. I just got help from my roommate which was awesome because it said...
Finally. Like a bright orange sunrise.
It took a long journey to get to where I am today, and it is still nowhere near complete. In a strange way, it hasn’t even really, quite begun yet. I am happy with myself and my accomplishments. I do not compare mine to other people’s nor think petty things like I am not as far along as that person. Like what I used to do so long ago. I am content with the progress I have made, and...
Discovery
I have so much left to find!! I am excited. Excited about finding more in life. I am excited for tattoos and kindred spirits; for baked cookies and long walks while drinking soda. I am excited for fanciful talks of strange faithful relation. I am excited for wrinkles and punctured hearts; I am excited for cake walks and mountain climbing- snake bites and lion’s roars. I am excited for...
The Rough One
After I wrote it I realized how it is reminscent of Robert Frost- (the path poem), I cannot remember the name for the life of me but I remember the way and the rhythm of the poem. Beautiful piece. Well, this is my own, no matter how reminscent it may be of that previous masterpiece by a poet lord!
I have proved combative— I’ve been trottin’ Down the same old broken path All my...
Alone.
It could be your mood, you see, against all odds. It could also be the moon, the way it glimmers so alone in the sky, reminding you that you too are like that moon. It could be the way the wind ripples in your ears, like a painful remark, like needles and pin pricks in your feet, making them feel numb. Why it hurts, I do not know. I also forgot what the bloody hell I was talking about.
The truth...
May 2009
20 posts
~May 28, 2009~
May 28, 2009
Faith, Hope, and Love
Hope. Hope and Love. Without hope, love is hard to grasp and keep a hold on… your fists may bleed, but without faith- o gosh, without faith, your hope is useless and superficial. It is screaming and unwise. Your hope must be painted ever so sweetly with the feeling reminiscent of angels in order to make sense of hope. Reminiscent of logic and a trust in...
musicians to dl
grateful dead, fleetwood mac, stevie nix, liz fair….barry white, al green, cat stevens, flaming lips, neil young, the string cheese incident, buena vista social club, moby, cake, arethra franklin, …. more, more, more, third eye blind, misfits, ramones, slightly stoopid, peter , paul, and mary, belle and sebastian, sublime, that beautiful french singer i heard at peet’s after...
Love and the Faithless
Cars wiz by and voices nearby holler
and cry… out.
Thoughts wistle; turmoil abounds
Inside- a destiny you make yourself
Let loose the clasp of control
God will do the rest.
Angels and demons, forth right and still
Still as a rock
Dreaming on a cliff
Every thousand years a slight earthly shift
I dreamt a time when all was perfect
I see it blushing strong, willowing red
Pink delight
I...
Bravery vs. Cowardice
The two cannot really fight. But my insight into these two is that both the brave and the cowardly may share the same thought, but the brave put them in to positive action. Positive meaning what is best for themselves as well as for those around them relatively speaking. I say best for themselves, because if you do not do what is best for you, how can you also be good for others? You cannot.
Mind...
everything happens for a reason?
Simply put. Tonight I met a man who went to Oakes college in Santa Cruz. I have recently chosen to go to UCSC. I wondered for a while if it was the right choice. All of a sudden my ambition and grades are at stake. Can I, will I, do I, have I the willpower and passion? I have the passion, now have I the chance? The chance to push myself. I need to keep C’s, these last two classes I...
Redemption for my Emotions
Being true to myself. Is accepting, and finding the best places for me to be at at any given moment. Like storms and waves, like hidden caves and things talked about but never done… I find myself screaming inside… then I let go, with a little faith to help guide the drop. Like feathers that were once pebbles, a handful in my sweating palm- now just a dream. A kind dream.
Things never...
5 Things that keep me going...
This is what I love.
1. I love big, beautiful bridges with lights at twilight. Over water or freeways, but the ones over freeways are awesome… I love driving over them or walking over them, any kind… but when they are gorgeous it’s even better. i think about the Golden Gate Bridge when I think about big, beautiful bridges, but currently I find the new one over 280 near De Anza...